Love of a Lifetime
by PASSION4WRITING4EVER
Summary: Remus has liked Sirius since fifth year, but is too shy to act on his feelings. Overhearing a conversation between Sirius and James, Remus is devastated to find that Sirius's values on bisexuality clash horribly with his own. Are these values really his?
1. Lily's Hex

It was September already (Remus couldn't believe how quickly the summer holidays had sped by), and the Marauders were all at platform nine and three-quarters, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

As Sirius hailed him from his place in the queue near the magical barrier that led to the Hogwarts Express, Remus grinned madly. "Oi, Moony! Over here, mate!"

Remus ran to his best friends and they all piled into a hug, arms in a confused tangle and hands slapping backs randomly. "It's good to see you," Remus remarked, playfully punching Sirius on the shoulder.

"Come on, let's get a compartment!"" James yelled over the clamor of squeaking trolleys, hooting owls and milling peers. Dashing ahead, with Peter puffing in James's wake, Sirius and Remus were left behind rather quickly.

"Blimey, Moony, hurry up!" Sirius raised an eyebrow as he noticed Remus lagging behind him somewhat.

"For Merlin's sake, Padfoot! I'm coming! No need to get touchy." Remus continued at the same, languorous pace as before, not feeling the slightest need to hurry up any.

"Just saying ..." Sirius smirked. "What's got you walking so slow, anyway? Get a new book over the holidays?"

Frowning slightly, Remus replied, "Yes, actually, I did. And what ever is the matter with taking one's time to get to the train?"

Sirius snickered. "Right, I forgot, you like quiet ... and the train can get pretty loud at times."

Remus smiled softly. "Especially if two of the occupants are you and James."

Sirius was indignant, protesting loudly. "Oi, there's nothing wrong with a good prank. I have to admit, Moony, you're brilliant--when you want to be."

Remus sighed, frowning again, though Sirius could tell that his heart really wasn't in the rebuke. "Yes, I suppose so, unfortunately."

"What's got you so up tight, Moony?"

"I think the proper expression in this case would be thoughtful, Pads." Remus corrected. "One would think you'd know that by now."

"Yeah, thoughtful." Sirius muttered. "Anyway ..."

A feminine shriek interrupted Sirius's musings. "Potter! You insufferable git! You have a scull as thick as Mount Everest! Leave me alone!"

Knowing immediately who the voice belonged to, Sirius chuckled. "You couldn't call it a good year without Prongs getting hexed by Evans, eh?"

"I don't blame her." Once more, Remus repeated the monologue he had been saying for the last five years. "Prongs isn't exactly what anyone would call charming."

"Oh, my God," Sirius breathed in disbelief. The reason for his wide eyes and gaping mouth became apparent to Remus when he saw James approaching, his nose swollen to five times its normal size. "Wow! She really did a number on you this time, mate."

"Prongs, I don't think you should talk," Remus warned, but his words came too late.

"Win' t' Lily t' say 'ello, an' she call'd be a' 'n'suff'r'ble git--whuuuuuuush!!!"

"Ew'w'w'w'w'w'w!!! Prongs!!!" Sirius's exclamation of utter horror at having James's snot cascading down his face was muffled by the loud, slightly reedy whistle of the train.

"Come on," Remus said worriedly, peering ahead to see that a lot of compartments had filled up over the course of their lollygagging. Considering the position Sirius was in, Remus sighed, and drawing his wand from where it had been safely tucked away in the front pocket of his robes, he pointed it quickly at Sirius's face and muttered "Scourgify."

"I don't think that's going to stop anytime soon," Sirius smirked, grinning at James. "Thanks, Moony," he added.

"Wa's Mou't--whaaashuuush--Ev'res'?""

"Honestly, Prongs, you took Muggle Studies." Remus chastised. Sighing both at the hopelessly careless way he treated anything in the Muggle world with no consideration, and at the spell Lily had cast on him, Remus shot another scourgify charm, this time at James.

Sirius grinned again as he said, "Yeah, but the only reason he did was because he knew that he could get a passing grade. You and your brilliantness," Moony."

"Padfoot, that isn't even a word. and yes, I'm reconsidering all those years I helped you guys. I should sit back and see what would happen if I didn't." Remus mused, a small smile playing around his mouth.

"Hey!" James gasped in mock horror. "'ow would you feel when we got our marks back, knoing that you'd failed uz?"

"Unrepentant, honestly," Remus said with a chuckle.

In truth, he didn't mind helping out his friends all that much--especially Peter, the least skilled of any of the Marauders. The poor boy couldn't get anything straight, except in Muggle Studies--and this was only because he was a Muggleborn.


	2. Train Ride

An hour and a game of Exploding Snap later, which had been plagued by loud, continual sneezes from James, Remus had fallen asleep across a row of seats on the train, his head cushioned on a pillow he had conjured. James, Sirius and Peter continued to play, Sirius roaring with a violent fit of laughter when Peter's eyelashes were completely burned off. The stack of cards had blown up, just as the chubby boy was about to place another card on the very top of the pile.

"Oi, Padfoot!" Peter yelled. Stuff it!" Peter jumped violently, as much from the explosion of the cards as his still-smoldering eyelashes. "That hurt!"

"Exactly," Sirius said, continuing to laugh. "Happens every single time, doesn't it?"

Choosing to ignore him, Peter turned in his seat, his gaze drifting towards Remus, who had drawn attention to himself by sighing deeply in his sleep.

"God, I still can't get used to Moony being able to fall asleep anywhere," James commented riley as he picked up the deck of cards and began to shuffle them, following in Peter's wake with his earlier glance at Remus as he did so.

"Oh, Merlin!" Peter groaned. "Not again," Peter said, emphasizing his earlier statement with the refusal of the cards James held out to him. "You two play without me this time."

Offering the cards again, James said, "But it's not as fun when we play without you, Wormtail." James was careful to make sure that his voice held a piteous whine.

"Only because you two get some sort of sick pleasure in seeing bits of my face get burned off every time I play," Peter grumped morosely.

"I'm starving!" Sirius exclaimed suddenly.

"Typical, Padfoot." The sleepy-sounding voice of Remus murmured out of the blue. "I'm curious to see who would win if James and I bet on which of you could stop thinking about food for a whole hour."

"Well, that won't work, seeing as Padfoot's starving." James's cheery voice rang out from where he sat, still shuffling the Exploding Snap cards. "And I'd bet on Sirius," James continued, "he has lots more stamina at his disposal than does Peter."

"Sorry for waking you, Moony," Sirius said suddenly, feeling guilty about disturbing their friend.

The other's glanced up, noticing the sickly, pale cast to Remus's already fair complexion.

"Oh, no bother," Remus said airily, though the others knew first-hand how very tired he really was.

"No, it is." James wouldn't let Remus allow, even for one second, his friends' carelessness. "I really am sorry, too. Full moon was yesterday, and we should have been more quiet." James leaned over Remus as he apologized, noting once more the seemingly waxy, sagging features of the lycanthrope.

It was Peter's turn to smile contritely down at Remus now, and seeing how very tired the other boy was, Peter became even more worried. "Are you all right? Is their anything we can do for you?"

"I'd just like to sleep," Remus said, his left cheek against the pillow. Remus's eyelashes began to flutter closed, and, with lips slightly parted, he began to breathe deeply as he settled more comfortably in his makeshift bed.

"Right, mate," James said softly.

"Remus, wake up," Sirius called out softly, shaking the young man's shoulder lightly.

Sleet was running down the windows of the train, and Sirius heard a loud, distant crash of thunder. Just as Sirius was about to shake Remus again, a shrieking gust of wind swept passed the train, whistling as it met resistance in the form of the glass windows of the carriages.

"Mmmmm, we're here already?" Remus's eyes fluttered open as he rolled over with a grunt.

"Yeah," Sirius muttered. "Come on, Sirius held out a hand to help Remus up from the seats he'd been using as a bed. "Let's make a run for it. It's chucking down buckets out there."


	3. First Night Back

Shivering, Sirius and Remus squelched through the mud-splattered Hogwarts grounds to a carriage and rushed in, joining an equally soaked James and Peter.

"I hate this blasted rain!" James griped as Remus reached over Sirius to close the door of the carriage.

"I hope the sorting doesn't take long this year," Sirius commented. "Remember last year?"

Peter snickered, recalling the memory with clarity. "Yeah. You could have sworn Padfoot was about to eat all those firsties, he was so impatient for the food to get served."

"I'll bet you ten gallions Narsisa would've," Sirius commented riley. " Cannibalism doesn't seem far off the mark for my family."

Remus grimaced. "God, Padfoot, your family sounds appalling."

"I'm used to it," Sirius muttered with the flash of a sinister grin.

"How anyone can say they're used to a family like yours is beyond me, mate," James shuttered. After a second of deep contimplation, James went on. "Isn't Narcisa your cousin or something like that?"

"Yeah, unfortunately." Sirius glanced in James's direction as he said this. Flicking his eyes back to include the other remaining Marauders, he added, "well, if you had grown up with them, you'd understand, too." He shrugged. "You either overlook everything or go mad."

"Isn't there a third option?" Peter piped up.

"Yes," Remus smiled. "Rebellion."

"Cheeky," Sirius said with a grin.

"Yeah, but it fits you rather well," Remus chuckled.

James chipped in, "Could've fooled me there, Moony. He's a Marauder, what do you expect?""

"Nothing less," Remus murmered contently.

"Thank God your nose is back to normal, Prongs," Peter said after a slight lul in the conversation.

Sirius grinned. "Yeah, but you have to admit, it was rather funny.

"I don't remember you laughing when Prongs's snot was dripping down your face," remus said with a little smirk in Sirius's direction.

"Oi, Moony!" Sirius exclaimed loudly. "That's not fair!"

Coughing rather loudly to try and mask the laughter bubbling up inside him, James stated, "Well, it's the truth."

"I can't wait for the next Hogsmeade weekend," Sirius said as the four Marauders climbed the stairs to the boys' sixth-year dormitory.

"Good God, Padfoot!" Remus exclaimed exasperatedly. "We haven't even had the first one yet. And we all know that your eagerness stems from wanting to prank the Slytherins." Remus grumped, not for the first time.

"Awww, come on, Moony," James said in mock annoyance, "You're such a spoilsport."

"Well," Peter chipped in, "He is a Prefect, after all."

"Wormtail, why did you have to remind him of his precious badge?" Sirius sent a mock glare at their chubby partner-in-crime.

"Remus was always rule-abiding even without being made a Prefect, though," James said sensibly.

Remus, quiet as ever, spoke up again. "I just don't think it's a good idea for you to set Gryffindors on Slytherins with the help of that spell we found yesterday. That's all you need, the excuse of a spell that makes students box other students."

"Exactly, Moony," Sirius said, seeing a perfect opportunity to prove his point. "An excuse."

Remus was becoming frustrated, though you never would have guessed it from the careful, calm exterior he presented. "That's not what I meant, Sirius," he said almost mildly . "The excuse of that spell is the worst thing you could provide."

"And what's wrong with Slytherin's being boxed by the people who hate them?" Sirius asked.

"Sirius," Remus said-and they all knew his irritation was getting the better of him; he didn't often call his friends by their given names unless he was sirius or frustrated-"That's exactly what I've been trying to pound into your heads for the last five years; it's wrong."

"Padfoot, give it a rest. You know Moony's never going to agree with us," James said with a smile in Sirius's direction.

"So you're just going to blatently disregard my feelings on the whole matter entirely?" Remus said disbelievingly, staring gobsmacked at sirius. He stopped walking mid-step, his right foot raised, about to step on the next assending stair.

"Well," Sirius hedged, looking uncomfortable and shifting warily from foot to foot-"I ..."

"You know what, you're being an absolute tosser. There is absolutely no reason why you need to hex or prank or embarrasse or-"

"Moony," Sirius butted in.

"I wasn't finished, Sirius!" Remus barked, cutting smoothly across Sirius's weak interjection. "As I was saying before you interrupted me," Remus hissed through clenched teeth, his temper boiling over, "there is no need to hex or prank or embarrasse or humiliate any Slytherin. As of tonight, I will no longer be taking part in any kind of prank singling out any individual or group of individuals in any manner that would cause that individual or group of individuals any kind of hurt or personal offense whatsoever."

"Wow, mate," Sirius started, and James placed a hand on Remus's shoulder, attempting to calm him down.

"No, Sirius," Remus snarled. "I'm done. I've had it up to here-: he turned to face Sirius and raised his hand, pointing his finger straight at sirius's chest as if he were brandishing a wand-"with your pranks! Good night!" Remus turned back to continue up the stairs, about to stomp off.

"Remus, wait," James began, but Remus turned his head and flung over his shoulder, "You, too, James!"


End file.
